Make sure English challenged employee understand exactly what you really mean

"Ey, boss, I not come work today. I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurting. I not come to work."

The boss says, "You know, Carlos, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and ask her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Carlos calls, "Boss, I did what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."