he wants to break into show-biz, so the agent says “O.K.
kid show me what you do” The kid tells some jokes, does
a little soft shoe, sings a bit, does an acrobatic act with
an ottoman, and is good enough to impress the agent.
“Great kid! Just great!” says the agent “I can do things for
ya! I think I can get you a show on TV” (This was the
early sixties.) “By the way, what’s your name?”
The young man, proud and excited, exclaims “Penis Van
Lesbian”.
“’Scuse me?” questions the agent.
“My name is Penis Van Lesbian” again replies the young man.
“Hey I’m sorry kid, you’re gonna have to change your name,
nobody is gonna hire you with a name like Penis Van
Lesbian.”
Well the young man is crestfallen but steadfastly refuses to
change his name, so he leaves to find another agent.
A few months later he returns to the same agent. “Hey kid!
Good to see ya again!” says the agent, “Are ya still looking
for work? Have ya changed your name?”
With his head hanging low the young man replies “Yes. Every
agent in town turned me down because of my name, Penis Van
Lesbian. So I’ve changed it”.
“Great kid, great! What’s your new name?”
“Dick Van Dyke.”