I know you have been trying to keep this quiet but the word is getting out.

ED  and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world  problems..

One day  Ed  didn’t show up. Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after  ED hadn’t shown up for a  week or so, Sam really got worried.  However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know where Bill lived, so he was  unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of  Ed, but one day, Sam approached the park and — lo and behold! –there sat  none other than Exxon Ed!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out loud  ED, what in the world happened to you?’

ED  replied, ‘I have been in jail.’

‘Jail?’ cried Sam. ‘What in the world for?’

‘Well,’  Ed  said, ‘you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?’

‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I remember her. What about her?’

‘Well, one day she filed rape charges against me.  At 89 years old, I was so
proud that when I got into court, I pled ‘guilty’

‘The damned judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’