A new sign in the Bank Lobby  reads

Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through ATM Machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their Vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the  procedures Outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of  careful research, “MALE & FEMALE” procedures have been Developed.

Please  follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash  machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and  enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve  card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE  PROCEDURE:

(What is really funny is that most of this part is the  truth!!!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the  required amount to align car window with the Machine.
3. Set parking brake,  put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger  seat to locate Card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and  hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow  easier access to machine due to its excessive Distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to  find diary with your PIN written on the Inside back page.
11. Enter  PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash  required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and  receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash  inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of Check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse  back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate  card holder, and place card into the slot Provided!
23. Give dirty look to  irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull  off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.