Category: General

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual Tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man Wrote a letter to his  son and described his predicament: Dear  Vincent,  I…

Rednecks are not only from the rural USA, it’s obviously a state of mind. While lounging about the local Russian auto repair shop, these guys decided to see what happens when an airbag deploys.  It’s all pretty obvious in spite of the language barrier. Sometimes, you just have to see it to believe it. Just…

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. ‘Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!’ ‘I can’t…

They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ Ladies, don’t forget…

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring…

THOSE AREN’T SWEATER VESTS THAT SANTORUM IS WEARING. ROMNEY TOOK OVER ALL OF THE SLEEVE FACTORIES AND SENT THEM TO CHINA. A MODERATE, A CONSERVATIVE, AND A LIBERAL WALK INTO A BAR. THE BARTENDER SAY HI MITT! NEWT GINGRICH HAS OFFERED TO PERFORM ALL OF THE BREAST EXAMS THAT SUSAN G. KOMEN USED TO FUND….STARTING…

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So because I’m retired and have little…

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away . The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000 . The husband thought about it and…

Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, His elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.’ She replies, ‘If your penis is…