Category: General

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if .. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used…

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.   His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.   "Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We…

A distraught senior citizen  phoned her doctor’s office.  "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken  for the rest of my life?" "’Yes, I’m afraid so,"’ the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I’m wondering, then, just how serious…

This is the best example for paying attention that I have ever heard. First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.   The professor started the class by telling them, "In…

I knew someone would find a name for our election process for this year. ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President, put forth by either party in the 2012 election year.

Today hundreds of websites — including Wikipedia, reddit, BoingBoing, FreePress.net and SavetheInternet.com — have gone dark. They’re protesting the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA), bills in the House and Senate that could open the door to widespread Internet censorship.1 Thousands of supporters of the open Internet will soon rally…

PARAPROSDOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them.) Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there’s a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. Do not argue with an idiot. He will…

Report on first national Democracy Corps survey of 2012 This first Democracy Corps national survey of the New Year shows Republicans at risk at every level. On the ballot, Republicans are in serious danger. For the first time since the 2010 election, Democrats have taken the lead in the congressional vote and this poll shows…

Advice to an old guy . . . an absolute heart-breaker. An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing… He asked the trainer that was near-by, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down…

  Twinkie, Deconstructed A pop-science journey into the surprising ingredients found in dozens of common processed foods, using the Twinkie label as a guide Like most Americans, Steve Ettlinger eats processed foods. And, like most consumers, he often reads the ingredients label—without a clue as to what most of it means. So, when his young…