Facebook Old man

Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)

Yes Grandpa, you should still join Facebook

A good laugh  for people in the over 60 group! OR NOT!
When I  bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with  1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos,  pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses,  my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the  modern way.  I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was  beeping every three minutes with the details of everything  except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.  I am not  ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf  bag.

The kids  bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every  now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep  that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I  am supposed to use when I drive.  I wore it once and was standing  in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the  nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.  I had to take my hearing aid  out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the  GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that  gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long  time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,  “Re-calc-u-lating.”  You would think that she could be nicer. It  was like she could barely tolerate me.

She would let go with a  deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.   Then if I made a right turn instead.  Well, it was not a good relationship…

When I get  really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross  streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the  GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be  perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones  in our house.  We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t  figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around  digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry  baskets when the phone rings.

The world is  just getting too complex for me.  They even mess me up every  time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle  on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I  check out just knocks me for a loop.  I bought some of those cloth  reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take  them with me.

Now I toss  it back to them.  When they ask me, “Paper or plastic?”  I  just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn  to stare at me with a blank look.  I was recently asked if I  tweet.  I answered, “No, but I do fart a  lot.”

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