Category: General

From the mouths of babes …. A little girl was telling Santa what she wanted for Christmas and as she listed one thing after another said, "and I want a G.I. Joe and Barbie, and …." "But honey," Santa interrupted "you mean you want a Ken and Barbie." "No, Santa!" she said. "I want a…

I got this one today and had to release it immediately. Is it funny or what. Once you know the facts it’s understandable. So Arnold approaches Maria and says "Maria, the maid wants another raise.” And Maria, after a little thought says, “Screw her!” Thus the name "Spermanator" and the rest is history.

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother. "Mom, I’m 40 years old, and look at me. I’m ugly. I’ll never get married so this…

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come…

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful…

On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We’re #1 in the #2 business." Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." At a Proctologist’s door: "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber’s truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On a Plumber’s truck: "Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."…

1.You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2.You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. 3.Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center. 4.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 5.You burn your yard rather than mow it. 6.You…

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always 5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6 measures to complete his work,…

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to…