Category: General

Think YOU’Re having a bad day? Several stories that will help you feel better……. Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.  The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers,…

FINE: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent…

"Ey, boss, I not come work today. I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurting. I not come to work." The boss says, "You know, Carlos, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and ask her to give me sex. That makes me…

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN…

Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.  Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen.  St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule –don’t step on the ducks.  The men…

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your…

Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: 180+ Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any…

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not take precautions.  A week after arriving back home, he awakens one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor. The doctor, never having…

"If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure."…George W. Bush "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." …Governor George W. Bush "Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." … Governor George W. Bush "Mars is essentially in the same orbit…Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun,…